May 5, 2020

We are Human BEINGS Not Human DOERS

Whoever invented the TO DO list had a great concept, however, knowing the multi-taskers we are, I’m sure it was a woman, but nonetheless, I bet, they didn’t expect our modern-day society to take ‘TO DO” to a whole new stratosphere.

Every day we witness women silently drowning in their “To Do Lists”. It appears we’ve become a society which is living under a mindset or more bluntly put, the misconception, that constantly “doing” is the way to justify our existence: to prove to the world and ourselves that our lives are valuable, that we matter and have relevance. But as we have a minute to sit back and reflect, let’s ask ourselves, is the “To Do List” another way to avoid the things we don’t want to face and deal with?

As a toddler I was fondly called Do-do by my family, not because I was fascinated by poop or had some special agenda to prove my existence, but because I wanted to explore and do many things for myself and fully experience what was before me at that very moment. In other words, to be fully engaged just as every free spirited toddler is, not at a scheduled time, but right then and there in the moment. However, as people grow into adulthood so many feel the need to show the world what good “DOERS” they are. We are seeking some sort of affirmation to be known for what we DO rather than who we are and the depth of what we’re contributing.

Work-life balance is critical: in other words balancing your BEING with your DOING is essential to your success as a “Human Being” on this planet. The majority of Americans define success as our careers, but, I’d argue, that success is how you approach and live your life in totality as a “whole being” rather than a fragmented one.

Creating a sense of life balance is fundamental to a feeling of overall success and happiness. Balance is achieved with the right blend of BEING versus DOING toward career, community, family and yourself.

So how do we practice introducing a little more balance and real connection into our lives so we can become present in our DOING instead of lost in our BEING.

Here are Seven Steps to bring you back to being present in your doing

Step #1. Nurture yourself.

It’s not self indulgent it’s self-respect! Think of this as the vehicle, which is going to enable you to be more present, happier and the best for everyone around you.

Step #2. Throw out the guilt or blame.

If you don’t get your to do list completed in your self imposed timeline. Step-by-step find your way to treat yourself kindly.

Step #3. Breathe.

Find time to go to a place that brings you peace and wraps you in the beauty of mother nature if you can. Breathe to clear the clutter in your mind and reconnect on a level that doesn’t have to have all the answers… but simply allows you to feel and connect to your mind, body and spirit.

Step #4. Take time daily for Y-O-U.

Quiet your mind through meditation, yoga or simply over the ritual of a cup of tea so you can get back to your core, and have a relationship with your most trusted source of knowledge – YOU!

Step #5. Be present.

Be in the moment so you can benefit from the unfolding experience and continue to learn, grow and flourish. I encourage you to not only enjoy what you're doing, but feel the passion in BEING in what you're doing.

Step #6. Add play back into your life.

Work hard, play hard, one feeds the other, just make sure you add a good night's rest to the mix!

Step #6. Do and be what you love.

Give yourself the time and space to find what you love and do it!

I wholeheartedly believe whether you choose to take one or all the aforementioned steps, what will keep you most grounded in the here and now is to be connected to family and friends. Not the toxic ones, but the ones that you can laugh and share your ups and downs with, who know and love you for all your flaws, through the good, bad and mundane. The people who will be your support group when you stop just DOING and are willing to just BE.

Ultimately, remember DOING doesn’t always give us time to do what we really want or need to do at a deeper soul level. Living from our soul is what makes our life really worth living, so get back to BEING so you can enjoy what you love DOING!

One of the things I love doing is writing, so I hope you’ve enjoyed “being” in this article with me!

Love, Diane

Diane Danvers Simmons is Co-Host & Co-Founder of the Mothers & Daughters Unfiltered Podcast. Mother of the mother-daughter duo, Diane, brings a life-time of varied experiences and a global perspective as a baby-boomer and proud owner of 3 passports to their female-centric conversations. Mothers & Daughters Unfiltered aims to bridge the intergenerational gap and bring women from all walks of life together to learn and grow together with the core belief that we are stronger together. You can find Mothers & Daughters Unfiltered wherever you listen to your podcasts and can follow them @motherdaughterunfiltered on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. (

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